LK INNOVATE

Writer and Teacher: Dr. Lokman Khan

Ever wonder how success can twist a person? One moment, abundance fosters humility and empathy; the next, it morphs into a monstrous arrogance, cutting them off from everyone. I’ve seen it firsthand: individuals, fresh from buying their dream homes and luxury cars, transform into self-proclaimed monarchs, seeing others as mere commoners. Their ego inflates so much that common sense simply vanishes.

Is this just a choice, or is there a dark psychological current beneath the surface? Let’s dive in.

The Psychological Foundations of Arrogance

Several psychological factors contribute to this kind of behavior.

Narcissism:

At the root of this type of arrogance often lies a personality trait known as narcissism. Narcissistic individuals believe themselves to be extraordinary, unique, and special. They consider themselves superior to others and expect others to acknowledge their perceived superiority. When wealth comes into their hands, this tendency becomes even more pronounced. They believe their wealth is proof of their greatness.

Sigmund Freud first explained the concept of narcissism in detail. He stated, “The ego is not master in its own house.” This means our ego can spiral beyond our control. In these individuals, self-love reaches such an extreme level that they cannot see their own flaws and cannot tolerate any form of criticism.

Arrogance Born from an Inferiority Complex:

Surprisingly, a deep-seated inferiority complex can often fuel this intense arrogance. The individual might have felt less valuable or inadequate at some point in their life. When they achieve wealth or power, they construct a defensive shield to mask this inferiority. This shield is their boundless arrogance. They want to show the outside world how powerful and successful they are, thereby concealing their inner vulnerabilities.

Alfred Adler, who extensively studied the inferiority complex, said, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” In other words, those who are not interested in others face the greatest difficulties in life and cause the most harm. These arrogant individuals are often indifferent to others, which damages their social relationships.

Abuse of Power:

Wealth brings power, and power can alter human behavior. Some people, when they reach the pinnacle of power, begin to feel invincible. They believe their decisions are final and that no one has the right to oppose them. This mindset encourages them to disregard others’ opinions and act solely according to their own will.

Cognitive Distortions:

Certain cognitive distortions are observed in these individuals, such as:

• Grandiose Delusions: They perceive themselves as being more important than what is consistent with reality.
• Tunnel Vision: They believe only their own perspective is correct and disregard others’ opinions.
• Confirmation Bias: They only accept information or opinions that support their pre-existing beliefs and reject criticism.
  Erich Fromm, in his famous quote, said, “Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality.”

These arrogant individuals fail to utilize their potential, instead guiding their personality down a distorted path.

Social Relationships and Isolation

Due to this overwhelming arrogance, these individuals push away their close ones. They dislike hearing the truth—they only want to hear praise. If they receive criticism or logical arguments, they become agitated. Consequently, they only listen to what pleases them.

Surrounding them are sycophants who are eager to please them for their own gain. These sycophants are whom they consider friends. True friends, who speak the truth, are eventually pushed away due to their strong ego—and slowly, they become friendless.

This circle of flatterers acts as a narcissistic supply for the arrogant individual. This supply refers to the praise, attention, and loyalty that narcissistic individuals crave from others. When their true friends criticize them or express dissenting opinions, they are deprived of this supply, which wounds their ego. As a result, they push those friends away and gravitate towards people who only praise them.

Carl Rogers, speaking about relationships, said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” These arrogant individuals cannot accept themselves as they are, hence they show no interest in change. They remain trapped in their self-created web of perceived superiority.

Pity or Precaution?

Sometimes, I feel pity for these unfortunate individuals. From the outside, their lives might seem extremely successful, but internally, they are victims of loneliness and disconnected from reality. Their wealth cannot bring them peace of mind; instead, it pushes them deeper into a state of perpetual dissatisfaction.
For those of us who are close to them, this serves as a lesson. We must never sacrifice our humanity for the allure of wealth or power. True prosperity comes from inner peace, empathy, and genuine relationships.

What Can We Do?

To break free from this kind of arrogance, it is crucial for the individual to develop self-awareness. They need to understand how their behavior is affecting others and how they are ultimately harming themselves. This can be a long and difficult process, as breaking down the ego is not easy.

The help of a psychologist or therapist can be extremely beneficial in this regard. They can assist the individual in identifying the root causes of their arrogance and developing healthier coping mechanisms.

As members of society, we also have a role to play. We should offer constructive criticism, rather than blind praise, but always with empathy. We must remember that true friends are those who are not afraid to speak difficult truths when necessary.

Finally, Viktor Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” These arrogant individuals too can choose to change their attitude and opt for a meaningful life, where wealth is merely a tool, not the driving force.